Capeworld Comics

Oh god, I’m making lists now? 

 

Yeah. This was a request. Don’t expect more lists–unless of course, you like this little article and want to see more like it. Tell me your thoughts in the comments.

 

Honorable Mention

 

 

Anything to do with Homestuck or Worm.

 

Just my bias speaking here. I don’t like Homestuck, and I don’t like Worm, thus I don’t like Scion vs Sentry or Skeeter vs Ladybug or Lord British vs Superboy Prime. I don’t care if the Homestuck or Worm characters die, I don’t want these series to have exposure. Let them go the way of VG Cats and Goblins and continue their decline into “You remember that stupid thing people that spent too much time on the internet liked?” I’d rather have another RWBY fight.

 

For those who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, consider yourself blessed. This is what Homestuck is, in a nutshell. As for Worm, think Wildcards if it was a rejected Bush-era Wildstorm pitch that someone turned into an unedited webnovel (and boy, does it need an editor). Towards the end, it turns into Evangelion-angels-but-somehow-more-convoluted vs I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-Youngblood. It’s not good. In my own writing, I use it as a model of what not to do (and I use PS 238 as a model of what to do). Worm mostly percolates on the internet through who-would-win discussions, particularly on Spacebattles.com. Worm fans are particularly impressed by a character named Contessa and think she can beat anyone. This is because she has Midnighter’s battle computer, and they’re too young to know who Midnighter is.

 

5. Homelander vs Omniman

 

 

I wouldn’t be too put out if we got this, and odds we will get it. They teased a Homelander fight, and who else would they put him against besides a guy that, to normies, is Homelander 2?

 

I just don’t think it’ll be interesting, and there are better evil Superman fights. Hyperion vs Supreme, for instance. It’s not even a close fight. Homelander is from a world where nearly all superhero problems are kayfabe perpetuated by morally bankrupt super-celebs as cover for their orgies (can you tell its a Garth Ennis book?). Omniman is from a world where superhero problems are real. Homelander’s Earth hasn’t dealt with near the peril Omniman’s has, and when Homelander goes rogue their solution is to pop him full of DU rounds until he goes down. Omniman’s world has dealt with aliens and demons and giant monsters and when Omniman goes rogue their solution is to kiss their ass goodbye.

 

4. Batman vs Daredevil/Moon Knight

 

 

I get it. Batman vs Marvel Batman. And if you’re suggesting this, maybe you’re thinking how cool it would be for the live action crew that brought us Daredevil vs Nightwing and Red Hood vs Winter Soldier to do it, and you’re right, it would probably be very cool, but it wouldn’t be as cool as Azrael vs Moon Knight or Wildcat vs Daredevil. Wildcat vs Daredevil in particular would be interesting as the result hinges’ on the rules. With an in-character fight, Matt would style all over Ted. Ted’s a boxer, Matt’s a boxer-ninja. But under Death Battle rules where everyone is OOC and fighting to the death, Ted wins because he’s literally got 9 lives. Can Matt kill him? Yeah. But he’s not going to be able to kill him 9 times in a row before Ted kills him once.

 

And from a pragmatic standpoint, I’m kind of sick of Batman fights. With the Hellbat armor tease, the next death battle is probably going to be Batman vs Iron Man with all their tricks included in the rundown (wasn’t one Marvel vs DC power armor fight enough?), meaning Batman is going to be the first Death Battle fighter with four (five if you count him acting as Terry’s Otacon in Batman Beyond vs Spidey 2099) appearances. I think that’s plenty for any character. And I get it. He’s objectively the most popular superhero in the world. Death Battle wants to milk him like Batcow. But if we’re going to use Batman, why not use specific versions of Batman? Why not give us Batman ‘66 vs James Bond (In the late sixties, there were the three B’s–Beatles, Batman, and Bond), or DKR Batman vs Old Man Logan?

 

3. Reverse Flash vs Goku Black

 

 

I’ve never gotten this one. One’s a pissed-off angel that possess the body of another world’s Goku, the other is a man from the future that developed an unhealthy obsession with the Flash. One is FILTHY NINGEN, the other is ME BARRY, ME. If you squint, it’s a match about two evil doubles of superheroes, but that’s a rather broad theme. Nearly every Marvel movie these days is about superheroes fighting their dark double.

 

If you want a big Marvel vs Dragon Ball fight, might I suggest Jiren vs Martian Manhunter? Hammer vs Swiss Army Knife. Both are aliens who lost everything, but one opened up to his teammates and became his superteam’s therapist and free wi-fi and the other closed himself to his teammates and became their brutal crutch. I’ll admit when I first heard the matchup I rolled my eyes, but now it’s one of my favorites.

 

2. Sailor Moon vs Supergirl

 

 

How on Earth did this matchup come to circulate through the who-would-win community? 

 

Is the theme that there isn’t one? Are we going post-modern here?

 

Okay. If you had a gun to my head I suppose I could spin it to make thematic sense. Both are…survivors of an alien culture who have connections in some way to a utopian future? They’re both…blonde?

 

See it’s just not working.

 

I got the feeling this match came about from people trying to headhunt Superman. “Who can kill Superman? A strong magic user, right? He’s weak to magic. Who do we know that’s good with magic? Sailor Moon? She works! But we can’t put her against Superman, it’ll just look weird. How about his blonde teenage cousin? Blonde teenager fight! It’s thematic!”

 

If you want Death Battle to have Sailor Moon blow Supergirl away, I hate to break it to you, but it’s not going to happen, not even with the vague and inconsistent vulnerability/weakness to magic. Take the stats they gave to Galaxia in Beerus vs Galaxia, they were basically all Sailor Moon’s, now put that against a character that scales to Superman.

 

(Also, no one made used headband Supergirl for their death battle image? Why? That’s objectively Supergirl’s best look.)

 

And the Winner: Arceus vs Beerus

 

 

You remember this one? When Beerus was first teased this was one of the ones that got circulated as a possible match.

 

“God of creation vs god of destruction” yeah yeah. One’s a quadruped and the other does martial arts, you got any idea how weird this would look as a fight? I can’t think of a harder fight to choreograph. You have to make them fight for at least two minutes. With Galaxia and Hades, other possible opponents to Beerus, you can easily form a visualization in your head to how they fight. Like say Beerus does the ATATATATATATATA multi-punch thing that happens all the time in Dragon Ball. What does Arceus do as a response? Block with its legs? Now we got a space chihuahua boxing with a horse.

 

Some fights just don’t work. This is one of them.