Why This Small Man Over That Small Man?

 

Well, I’ve been backing Palmer as the winner since 2021, and I was backing Palmer recently until DB leaked that they were using pic related, which, through Scott scaling, gives Hank the Vision and Wonderman powers–Wonderman powers I might add, that Scott used to beat up Dr. Doom, the same guy DB scaled to the Beyonder.

 

These powers stack on the density-born superstrength Pym particles normally gain, so all Hank has to do to win is match Ray’s size and density and then pop Wonderman powers. Then the fight becomes, essentially, a normal man vs Wonderman.

 

And saying “Hank wins because Dr. Doom.” is a lot more simple than “Ray wins because of this wincon the CHUD that embarrassed us over Jim McClanahan thought of back in 2021,” and DB likes simple BIGATON answers over tactical answers.

 

So this was going to be a “Hank will win” post…until I saw that G1 is backing Ray.

 

Well, now I have to back Ray. It would just be weird if the original Ray guy took an L because he switched to Hank after convincing G1 to back Ray

 

Make of that what you will.

 

Observed Patterns Scores

 

Here’s a novel approach to determining who will win a fight–I give you OPS, By analyzing pastDeath Battle trends, we can quasi-determine who will win using quasi-math!

 

The following traits point to a character winning:

 

Invader Advantage: They’re the ones that go “where they aren’t supposed to” in the opening scenario. In Death Battle, home field advantage is more like home field disadvantage.

 

Older Character Advantage: Older characters tend to cream younger ones. Look at Goku vs Superman, Saitama vs Popeye, Samurai Jack vs Afro Samurai, Voltron vs Megazord, etc, etc. The longer a character is in circulation, the more likely it is a writer has them do something really powerful and silly.

 

Worse Preview Advantage: Because Swan is a midwit and midwits confuse rug pulls with cunning reversals, the character with the more glowing preview tends to get dumpstered. Just look at the previews for Zatanna and Scarlet Witch for a good example.

 

Intelligence Advantage: Smarter characters tend to beat dumber ones.

 

Archive Advantage: Characters with the larger media library tend to win, because it increases their feat collection.

 

Normie Advantage: The one people with only an average understanding of pop culture would pick to win often wins.

 

Entry Level Advantage: The one quasi-nerds thing will win will likely win.

 

Bigaton Advantage: The one with the most easily-exaggerated and misconstrued feats will likely win.

 

Palmer’s Score

 

3

 

–Is the “invader” in the opening scenario

 

–Is the older character

 

–His opponent had the better preview

 

Pym’s Score

 

5

 

–Is the normie pick (Atom can shrink, but Antman wins because he shrinks and has ants!)

 

–Is the entry level pick (Hank is the Scientist Supreme!)

 

–Has the larger list of appearances and feats.

 

–Is smarter.

 

–His opponent’s path to victory is based in tactics, his own path to victory is based on a surface level understanding of feats from a Reddit respect thread (the “bigaton” advantage)