Capeworld Comics

The same thing that happens to everything else.

 

Thank you, Death Battle. We get to watch Korra die without watching Rey win. Isn’t that great? I mean don’t get me wrong, this is an awful matchup. Black weather controllers? Really? You couldn’t have dredged up a goddess character or a team leader character to fight Storm? Mandingo (Mandinga? Womandingo?) fights are not a theme.

 

So who wins? Um…the one that does this:

 

 

You remember how hard they wanked Dr. Doom? Now enter a storm so powerful that it has him running to his laboratory to find a way to stop it. Now enter Storm (woman, not weather) telling him that his power is finite but hers are infinite.

 

Hey, remember how they wanked Doom’s shields? Wouldn’t it be crazy if Storm drained the energy from his shields?

 

She did.

 

Say it with me now: Doom scaling.

 

And I’m betting you’re going to see them bring up the time she combined her powers with Cyclops’ to kickstart a device that provided sunlight to an entire planet:

 

 

 

Solar powered optic blasts? Well that got retconned, didn’t it?

By Death Battle wank rules, this isn’t a fight, it’s an execution. Even without wank its an execution. Korra has nothing on Storm’s feats.

 

You know cloud feats? Enter aurora feats.

 

 

Get ready to hear Death Battle talk about the wattage of the Northern lights.

 

I’ve always been a fan of upper atmospheric phenomena 

 

I find the upper reaches of our planet criminally underutilized by science fiction writer and do what little I can to correct that.

 

I hope Death Battle talks about auroras and sprites and elves and all that cool stuff.

 

They’re cool, aren’t they?

 

I wish Marvel writers had Storm throw sprits and blue jets around. That would be some cool real-world science to bring in. I bet it would shock the hell out of her opponents to have her switch from shooting lightning to giant laser sprays.

 

What I’m saying is that I want Storm to kill Korra with a sprite. Is that so much to ask? Regardless, I’m curious how the death will play out given that Ben will obviously be of two minds. He’s going to be pulled between wanting an Avatar character to go out with dignity and his perverse ryona fetish telling him to make Korra suffer. We’ll have to see if Korra gets it with or without the sponge wet.

 

Well, this was easy. I guess as the fight right before the big fight between anime badguy and anime badguy you could say it’s the…calm before the storm?

 

Eh, the jokes can’t always be good. You got to expect that.

 

Some people think Korra might win because whenever there’s a big obvious curbstomp some people jump to the underdog. But guys, come on here. You can lowball Storm and wank Korra and Korra would still lose. This isn’t Alucard vs Dio. This is a Quicksilver vs the Flash. If Korra somehow wins Ben is going to have to spin the post-fight rundown harder than Jen Psaki after Biden gives terrorists an air force.