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The FORBIDDEN Death Battle Prediction Blog Episode 21

Prediction 8

Crona Kills Venom

 

Who are these characters? What is the theme?

 

Uh…Ben likes thinking about tentacle monsters fighting Z-grade anime girls?

 

Yeah, this is one of those shrug-worthy matches. I guess “body horror antiheroes” is the theme? Crona can control blood, so how come she isn’t fighting Carnage when Carnage’s whole thing is that his symbiote is bonded to his blood? Crona is also crazy, so that’s another theme she gets with Carnage instead of Venom. Why is Crona fighting Venom?

 

It’s probably because they didn’t want to do Carnage vs Lucy again…even though this is still basically Carnage vs Lucy again.

 

But Otto, Crona’s Gender is Actually Unknown!

 

I don’t care. He/she/xir/myr/cur, it’s an anime waifu. It belongs in the trash.

 

My Take

 

Come on Death Battle. 

 

Come on.

 

Make an effort.

 

If you guys wanted to have a body horror character with a sonic attack from an anime kill Venom, you should have at least given Eddie the dignity of dying to the Guyver. How about Betterman? Don’t pretend Betterman isn’t as literally who as Soul Eater. It’s 2020. Wolf’s Rain is more remembered than Soul Eater.

 

So this fight is easy to figure out. Venom has a weakness to sonics. Crona has a sonic scream. This is Martian Manhunter vs the Human Torch. This is Wolverine vs Magneto. Game, set, match. Someone send the fight to Donny Cates so he can cry. Let’s get something out of this waste of a slot.

 

Sure, sure. Sonic weapons don’t instantly wreck Venom, but it’s still a weakness. You add that to Crona once covering the moon in blood and Eddie’s screwed. What’s he supposed to do against the surface area of the lunar surface?

 

Unless Cates recently turned Venom into the Silver Surfer through his glorified fanfic, Eddie is toast. Even if he did give Venom a buff, he’s not going to get it if Wally couldn’t get his Manhattan powers.

 

The silver lining here is that this is such a no-brainer that it spares me from looking up more about Soul Eater. Dear god, why does Ben have the same taste in anime as a 12 year old girl from the Bush years? Check this out what I got when I asked for more details about Crona’s moon feat:

 

“When Maka Albarn faced Asura during this lunar battle, she managed to slice into the Kishin and enter him. There, Maka not only found the Book of Eibon but reunited with Crona—and Maka Chopped them with that book. Crona, by that point, regained consciousness against madness. Desiring to save the world from Asura—not for that world, but because it is what Maka would want—Crona instructed Maka to find within the Book of Eibon BREW itself. While Maka followed the path of souls that Soul Eater left behind as a guide out of Asura, Crona empowered BREW from within Asura so that his Black Blood would be expelled and form a barrier around the Moon. Upon Maka and Soul’s escape, this Black Blood barrier successfully wrapped around the Moon, imprisoning Asura, saving the world from the Kishin, but keeping Crona, the Book of Eibon, and BREW trapped within this Black Blood lunar barrier as well.”

 

What is this, Blazblue? Good lord.