Capeworld Comics

Really?

 

Black Adam vs Apocalypse?

 

We’re back to these kinds of fights already?

 

Let’s start with the problem–characters that survived from the bronze age is not nearly thematic enough. Under that logic Black Adam vs Conan is thematic. Under that logic Apocalypse vs Vandal Savage is thematic.

 

I get it. They wanted someone for Black Adam because he’s hot right now and they usually make matches way after a character has dipped in popularity (Scarlet Witch vs Zatanna is an example). The ideal matchup would be Namor, because Geoff “Cereal King” Johns basically turned the post-crisis Black Adam into Namor. The fight would have been between two super-powered kings who range up-and-down the villain-tweener-hero scale depending on the story and writer.

 

Now I hear some of you.

 

“But Otto, wouldn’t Adam have pulped Namor? Aquaman beat Namor and Aquaman isn’t close to Black Adam.”

 

Yes. Absolutely yes. But what makes you think Apocalypse vs Adam isn’t another stomp?

 

Adam is within spitting distance of Super “no limits” Man. He’s got stupid stuff like beating up death and super-Pariah. Just look at his original Fawcett incarnation. In  Marvel Family 1, he flew from the furthest star in the universe (note that Fawcett used universe to mean multiverse–for an example see the classic Captain Marvel Adventures 100—Dr. Sivanna and the Plot Against the Universe) to Earth in 5,000 years.

 

 

I’m not sure what number Death Battle will give Adam for flying from the furthest star in the multiverse to Earth in 5,000 years, but it’ll probably smoke whatever number they give Apoc.

 

And of course, he matched the Marvels in strength and durability, and this was back when the Power of Zeus didn’t mean crappy electricity powers–it meant absolute immunity from harm.

 

 

To beat Adam, Uncle Dudley, the comic relief conman-with-a-heart-of-gold member of the team, had to trick him into depowering himself. And yes, Alan Moore did steal this for Kid Miracleman.

 

 

Wisdom of Zehuti was asleep at the wheel.

 

For those of you wondering how Adam came back from this, this is nothing. Mr. Mind survived execution in the electric chair and getting stuffed and mounted in a crime museum.

 

Speaking of Alan Moore, Kid Miracleman or just Miracleman would have been interesting fights for Adam–way more interesting than Black Adam.

 

So Adam scales to Billy, and Billy scales to Superman–specifically the same Superman that pulled off the crazy “create enough power to restore all the infinite timelines of the multiverse” feat in Superman 295. They fought evenly in All-New Collectors’ Edition Vol 1 (for those not in the know, when DC acquired Fawcett, they set up the old Fawcett continuity as Earth-5 and had the characters cross over with the DC characters of Earth-1). So you really, really don’t have to stretch to give Adam Superman scaling.

 

In fact, Adam fought evenly with Superman in DC Comics Presents 49, which featured the Earth-1 version of Billy Batson.

 

 

So does Apoc have anything on Superman scaling?

 

No. God no. Adam can just throw the planet into the sun. How’s Apoc going to regen from that? You think his fancy Celestial armor crap he got what, a year ago is going to save him? Fat chance, he’ll boil inside it first.

 

Go ahead and give Apoc a gazillion universes worth of power because he cobbled together tech from the debased and humbled post-Jason Aaron Celestials. Black Adam plays the Superman card and he wins.

 

If you think they’ll going to make Adam sub-universe because they did that to Billy, you’re going to be surprised and then some.

 

They were being nice to Carol because they thought she had real fans and were chasing Endgame clout.

 

They have no reason to be nice here.

 

Can Apoc win? Maybe if they stretch his energy absorption and magic (yes, he’s into magic now) powers, but it would be one mother of a stretch. Say he can somehow suck up the lightning powering Adam. Adam can just call it back like how he and Billy can withdraw the power they loan to their friends and family. Stealing Adam’s power would be as useless as Dr. Doom siphoning Hal Jordan’s power. The power will just be willed back. So he’s down to the godawful magic powers Hackman gave him because Hacman gonna Hack it up.

 

We mutants are superior. We use an X instead of a circle to do our magic. We make magic squares. We was magicians and shietttt.

 

Someone tell Apocalypse (I’m sorry, I mean “A,” he’s going through his Prince phase) that the X-Men draw circles around their X logo all the damn time.

 

I don’t see Apocalypse creating a counterspell for Adam. Especially not when he doesn’t have preptime. Is it conceivable? Yeah. Magic can do anything. Is it likely? No. But what is likely is Adam pulverizing Apoc down to subatomic particles.

 

Apocalypse has the same chances here as Democrats do keeping the House–none at all.

 

So, lame fight coming up. But there’s a silver lining.

 

Do you like scores? I love scores. I love how upset they make people.

 

Marvels join the Superman of America (the 2-0) and JSA goes 4-0 (Billy, Adam, Dr. Fate, Canary)

 

JSA Chads….JSA Kings…we are invincible.